You Have to Disconnect to Reconnect

February 17, 2011 | Posted by Emily McCann

I recently read an article about a mom who decided that her Christmas present to her kids was to 'unplug' for 14 days. No twitter, no facebook, no email, no iPad, no smartphone. Sound impossible? I think for most of us it would fall inline with needing a 12-step program and a sponsor. It seems more and more being 'connected' to the digital world is moving towards a full blown addiction. And with all addiction, comes trade-off. Your time. Your attention. Your presence. Your honesty. Your awareness of others and of self. All of these can become jeopardized when coupled with an obsession with social media and the gadgets that have become part of our everyday lives. 

The result of this one mom's experience of disconnecting was that she became more in touch with her kids and herself. She didn't miss anything. She didn't lose anything. She didn't sacrifice anything. She felt appreciated. She noticed things around her. Her kids seemed to complain less. Fuss less. Talk back less. There's a lot to be said for those kinds of changes simply from unplugging for a couple short weeks.

Maybe the challenge of 14 days fully disconnected isn't possible for some. I guess it's likely not realistic for many jobs or parents. But there are other less extreme ways to test out this disconnect theory. Here are a few that I've come up with to try or at least think about:

A New Rule

How about no computers, phones, email, text, tweets, facebook after 9:00pm. That includes everyone under your roof.

Pick Up The Phone

Remember when you use to call people and have great conversation instead of typing it all out on a tiny keypad or in sentences no greater than 140 characters? I miss those days.

'DO' Instead

Instead of tweeting about things, actually do them. For example, to say 'I'm playing with my kids and loving them right now' makes no sense. You're tweeting about playing with your kids while ignoring them because you've stopped to type about it. Social media has a time and a place. It's doesn't need to be all the time and in every place. 

Mini Break

Declare a 'social-media-free-weekend'. It's just 2 days. You'll be surprised how much longer your weekend feels.

Holiday! Celebrate!

On your next holiday, leave your phone, computer & iPad behind. That's what holidays are meant for. Everything back home can wait. You'll see. 

Tough It Out

The next time you're out for dinner and your spouse or friend gets up to use the washroom, leave your phone in your pocket or your purse. You might feel awkward. You might feel anxious. But just look around. Fidget with the cutlery. You don't need that security blanket. You can do it!

Live Your Life

Try practicing some discretion and privacy when using social media. Certain conversations are better suited one-on-one using MSN, phone, email or skype. Remember back in the day when you didn't feel the need to tell the whole world every detail about you; and where you are; and what you did; and what you ate; and how many reps you did; and when you got up; and when you went to sleep? That felt more like living.

Good Morning!

If the first thing you do when you wake up is grab your phone (because it's already on your pillow) and check your tweets, emails and facebook, then STOP! Give yourself some breathing room before you invite in all the craziness and information that will clog your newly cleared head.

I try (although I fumble) to practice most of these. I have to say, feeling liberated and mindful and in the moment is worth more to me than creeping on photos from this past weekend or making sure I've had enough tweets today so not to run the risk of losing followers. I love some things about smart gadgets and social media and I don't expect to ever fully get away from them, but I also love giving myself time to feel free and independent of technology. Even if it's just for a moment. 

It's interesting that the mom in the article I read saw the notion of 'unplugging' yourself as a GIFT to your family. What she was really giving them was the gift of her time. Her attention. Her presence. Her love. Her honesty. The way I see it, she was giving all of those gifts to herself as well. Examples like this are a great reminder that sometimes you need to stop. Step away. Put down the gadgets. Get back to basics. Disconnect. Reconnect.

(Image from Veer + my current desktop photo)