Never forget your headphones at the gym
May 16, 2011 | Posted by Craig LePan
Who likes working out in a crowded gym? No one does. The only thing worse than working out in a crowded gym is working out in a crowded gym with no headphones on. Just so happens, I forgot my headphones today at the gym and somehow all of the sight and sounds were amplified.
I look at going to the gym as a great idea generator and a chance to listen to music. I don't go to the gym to look like Thor. I go to release stress, be in my own head and ensure I can eat whatever I want and never be on the Biggest Loser. Anyway, we all go for our own reasons.
When you go to the gym at the same time of day for a while, you start to see repeating characters. You don't know them by name, only by the nicknames you've given them in your head. On my way to the elliptical, I walk past 'Spazzy Pants', named for her Elaine Benes type dance-trance she's in. It looks as though she could fly off the machine at any moment and holding on to the handle bars is all that's preventing it.
Next in line is 'Stinky', named for obvious reasons. Then the only machine open is one next to Chatty Kathy who is engaged in a 45 minute phone call type conversation with her 'trainer' slash rent-a-friend who is standing leaning on the machine. I drift in and out of this conversation doing my best to block it out and my best not to reach over and turn up the level 8 notches so she can't breath enough to talk.
As I'm stretching its clear that the number of rent-a-friends is beginning to outnumber the members working out at any given time. An improptu group-x class of 4-5 ladies has formed around a guy in a vest and it's starting to look more and more like Globo Gym.
We (Em and I) have been going to this gym for over 2 years. In that time more and more memberships (and more and more vests) have been handed out, but the actual square footage has never increased. As a result, we decided a couple weeks ago to just call it quits and look for another hang out.
Ideally I think we'd like to join "Average Joe's Gym". I'd happily invite Spazzy Pants, Stinky and Chatty Kathy to join us, as long as I have my headphones on and there are no vests around.
Where are you working out? Is it over populated? Is there a better solution out there?